Wednesday, February 15, 2012

You’ve Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me…


The existing manager got fired and two other employees quit, so Bill was placed as manager of the store.
While this is sounds terrifying the reality is that since the owners don’t trust anyone, a trained cat could perform the required duties of the store manager. Also, since Bill worships the owner and thinks every employee and customer is a thief, he’ll get along perfectly.

Those who won’t enjoy this change are the clerks.

As Store Manager, Bill’s normal clerk duties have expanded to writing up the monthly schedule (which never changes), coming in if one of the booth’s dollar accepters gets jammed and covering random shifts is someone is sick, quits or doesn’t show up. He has a certain amount of say when ordering product for the store, but the vast majority of our stock comes directly from the warehouse, whether or not anyone put in an order. He can’t fire anyone, has no authority over whom to hire, make deposits (this is already done by the person working the 3-11 shift) or get anything out of this position other than the title of manager and an extra $100 a month.

I was thrilled to finally move off the overnight shift to evenings, but this is really going to suck. Now I’ll be sharing the evening shift will Bill from 2-10 p.m. at least three day a week, which means seven hours of attempted conversation with Stupid-The-Kid.

I learned of his promotion yesterday afternoon when I came in for my 3-11 shift. He blathered on and on until 10 p.m. about how things were going to change with him as manager and how Kevin and Kris were so jealous that he was made manager after they left. (In reality, Kevin got fired and Kris moved out of the area.)

Have I mentioned that Bill’s entire life revolves around the store? He never talks about anything other than the store, the employees and the store owners when I can actually get him to talk and most of the time this is spent bitching about his coworkers. Even his downtime is spent thinking about the store and he often calls at the end of the 3-11 shift to hear how much we made during the evening. I don’t know if he thinks this will discourage employees from pocketing money from the register or if he honestly believes that he’ll get a bonus if the store does well, but he loves hearing the daily totals and brings up past days’ sales all the time.

In fact, he loves to brag about how much he’s made when he worked a 3-11 shift. Remember, this is the guy that calls every other guy in the store, “Queerer than a two-dollar bill.” (Yes, the fact that there are two-dollar bills in circulation is completely lost on Bill.) He’s rude to every customer that makes him get off his wooden stool and answers every customer question with a one-word answer. Yet somehow, his amazing salesmanship has resulted in the store earning more money that otherwise would have come in during the evening.

Now that his ego has been boosted, I expect his bragging, bitching and waist-size will continue to grow. I just hope he doesn’t do anything to outright hurt the store.

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