Monday, February 13, 2012

Ask Jizz 2/13/2012 - Gay Marriage


What’s your opinion on gay marriage?

I support gay marriage, but I’d like to begin my answer by explaining that gay marriage is one of the biggest smoke screens ever brought into politics. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a complete non-issue that shouldn’t be decided by politicians nor be a factor in any political race.

Minnesota is about to vote on a same-sex marriage ban amendment. This means that millions (perhaps billions) of dollars will be spent on advertising campaigns and efforts on both sides to get Minnesotans to vote one way or the other. It sickens me that we’ll be throwing so much money into this election that could have been spent to actually do some real good in the world. Also, there’s a 50/50 chance the results of this vote will be pointless because I strongly suspect this issue will be argued in front of the Supreme Court.

The fact that we’re even talking about this in politics is completely absurd. The biggest conservative groups against allowing gay marriage are also the same groups that want smaller government and less governmental influence in our everyday lives. How could you conceivably think it’s inappropriate for the government to tax you, but appropriate for the government to tell people who they can and can’t marry.

Furthermore, the people using the ‘biblical marriage’ argument are referring to a very small section of the bible. This is the same book that instructs you to marry your brother’s wife and impregnate her, should your brother die unexpectedly. You can also knock up your wife’s slave if she’s unable to provide you with children. Hell, bigamy is allowed too so why all the fuss about two guys or gals getting married.
I’ve long felt that the real issues at play here are:
  • Some people are really uncomfortable with the idea of homosexual relationships and would prefer them to stay hidden.
  • People insecure about their own sexuality or past relationship failures attack homosexuality in an attempt to feel better about themselves.
  • If we accept there are actual legitimate, permanent homosexual relationships, we won’t be able to look at gays as being creepy freaks that live lifestyles that run contrary to those of ‘wholesome’ people. If they start being houses, raising kids and paying taxes, we’ve suddenly lost a huge scapegoat to blame for the crumbling of our corrupt society. If all this happens, we’ll have to face the reality that all of our problems are actually our own fault.

So yes, I believe gays should be allowed to marry. The fact that two people are so in love with each other that they want to make a commitment to stay together for the rest of their lives should be celebrated, regardless of gender. This relationship has nothing to do with you, your marriage, your children or anything else in your life. I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable with the thought of seeing two married women shopping at Costco on a Saturday morning, but suck it up. I don’t give a fuck about your marriage, lack of marriage or relationship status, so stop caring about mine or anyone else’s.

I think we’ll get there and same-sex marriage will soon be legal in the United States. But issues like this are great for bringing assholes out of the woodwork who want to force their beliefs and agendas on others.
I keep hearing about a “homosexual agenda” from the far right. All of this hate feels more like a conservative Christian agenda than anything else. If you want to be a strict, biblically-based Christian, that’s fine, but don’t expect everyone else to live up to what you feel are ideals. You should also follow all the other rules in the bible and stop obsessing about gay sex. If you want to avoid things that are an “abomination to God” in the bible, you’re also not allowed to:
  • Divorce and/or remarry 
  • Lay with a menstruating woman 
  • Lie – EVER! 
  • Be proud 
  • Sacrifice humans

If you start going through the Old Testament; one could get stoned to death for cursing, not being a virgin when they get married (only women) or doing work on the Sabbath. So if we’re going to start telling people they’re going to hell, let’s first take a look at our own actions and realize that we’re all going there for that trip to Home Depot last Sunday.

Bottom line, everyone needs to stop caring about what other people are doing in their bedrooms. Once we do this our lives will be a lot simpler.

(Thank you for allowing me to rant.)

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