Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A lesson in love...

I expected to meet a lot of new people when I started posting these stories online and promoting the blog through Twitter. What I didn’t expect was to learn so much about other people’s lifestyles and sexual interests.

I’ve written a lot about fetishes and about how I really don’t care what people are into as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. But I found that the more I learned about different fetishes and lifestyles, the more I wanted to know and more questions I had.

Fortunately, there have been a number of very patient people who have taken the time to answer some of my questions via Twitter and email. I am thankful to these teachers who gave me some true insight into a different world. They’re probably tired of explaining their interests to others or perhaps gave me a little window into a part of their lives that they don’t share with most friends and family.

My burning question involved asking how people are able to live a dedicated BDSM lifestyle. This is something that I’ve wondered about ever since I saw the, “Bring out the gimp,” scene in Pulp Fiction.
I’m something of a realist when it comes to fantasies. I’m the one who’s always finding plot holes and asking questions like, “Why didn’t Cinderella’s glass slipper change back to rags like the rest of her clothes?” Additionally, as a new parent, I’ve seen just how thin patience and humor can be stretched when you’re sleep-deprived and pressed for time.

Knowing this, how the hell can a couple be dom/sub all the time?

I’m very grateful that the first response about this wasn’t, “Couples do it when they can, just like anything else asshole!” But after the first email, a lot of things started to make sense. The “real-world” has a way of limiting the amount of time anyone can spend on their passion, whatever it may be. Couples with children who are also into BDSM often save their play for evenings when they can be alone in the bedroom. If Master started trying to enforce commands that involved doing the dishes and getting lunch boxes filled, the fantasy would completely disappear rather rapidly.

Someone else said, “You’re a Star Wars enthusiast right? While I’m sure you’d like nothing more than watching the movies and reading the books during your spare time, you probably don’t get to. So what do you do? You spend time on this interest when you can!”

Another excellent point was that many people online have specific Twitter accounts or websites dedicated to their fetish interests. To an outsider such as myself, it looks like they do nothing but have crazy, wild sex all day long and that they’re a complete devotee to this kink. But the reality is that this is a “normal” everyday person who no one would ever suspect is into anything kinky, spending their free moments writing about their secret passion.

And let’s not forget that not everyone online is always telling the truth.

This was a good learning experience for me. Since I had been exposed to the sides of many peoples’ personalities that they normally hide, I assumed that these folks spent all their time kinking it up. In all honesty, these people could be my neighbors, coworkers, even close friends and I would never know.

Follow your bliss people. I just hope that after taking care of your kids and sleeping, you’re able to find enough time for both work… and play.

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