Ask Jizz 4.11.2012 - What bugs you the most as a Jizzmopper?

Today's question comes via a friend on Facebook:

(Did you know you can Like the Jizzmopper Chronicles on Facebook by clicking here?)

What bugged you most when you worked at the porn store?

With so many annoyances to choose from (shoplifters, prank calls, people trying to screw each other in the video booths), it may surprise you that the thing that bothered me the most was when people tried to bring their children into the store.

This happened all the time and some parents got really angry when I wouldn’t allow their kids into the store. To be fair, some did ask if it was okay as they walked into the store, but some people were halfway to the double-headed dildos before I was able to stop their group and escort them out of the store. It’s one thing to not know kids weren’t allowed (if you're a moron), but it’s another to get offended and mad because I won’t let your six-year-old hang out in a store that sells ball gags.

The customers that really got to me were the ones coming in with their kids to buy drug paraphernalia. I’m not particularly judgmental about casual drug use, but I don’t think you should be relaxing with a joint while your kid is sitting in the back seat. I found myself legitimately concerned for the safety of the kids whose fathers felt the need to stop into the store and pick up a onie on their way back from daycare.

These customers are the ones who would get the most offended when I asked them to leave. They’d say things like, “Can’t I just buy some papers,” or, “He’s so young, he can’t understand anything anyway.” In certain cases, they’d bring their kids back out to the car to wait while their parent came back inside to buy a bong.

I want to make sure everyone understands this, so I’ll say it again. SOME PARENTS WOULD LEAVE THEIR KIDS ALONE IN AN UNLOCKED CAR PARKED IN A PORN STORE PARKING LOT SO THEY COULD BUY A NEW PIPE!

Even all these years later, just thinking about this pisses me off. I wouldn’t sell to the parents when they came back in, which usually just pissed them off more. But fuck it. If they can’t take care of a child properly, how the hell are they supposed to appropriately operate fire and a pipe?

My behavior was completely supported by the owner. He was okay with selling smoking supplies, but considered smoking anything to be disgusting and a sign of weakness.

Bringing kids into the store was not quite as common when I worked at the couples-friendly mini-mall store, but it still happened. Usually the parent would suddenly realize they just brought their child into a porn store and apologized while leaving (why they didn’t expect this when they saw the lingerie-clad, large-chested mannequin in the window is beyond me.) One customer even tried sending his kid in with dvd rental returns, which resulted in him losing his rental privileges.

 I’m a very open-minded person, but I also feel that we should try to allow children to have the longest childhood possible. Kids grow up so fast these days anyway; I don’t think it’s appropriate to confuse them more by adding pornography into the mix. (I do, however, feel that it’s every parent’s responsibility to teach their children about sex before they learn about it from school or their friends.)

My takeaway is this; if you’re going to buy porn, sex devises, lingerie or pipes, do it without your child.